About Me

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I am an army wife with three kids. I live too many miles from any family members but I have a support group of friends here in this high desert that I am thankful and greatful for every single day. I am in a soul search for myself. I have always been a "yes" person. A person who can never say "no". Because of this I have lost Me along the way, and I am tired of being lost. It's time for Jayme to find herself and be happy. The past 6 months have been hard for me. I mean REALLY challenging because like I said, I am an Army wife with three kids and sometimes I have to do things like, you know, on my own. I have another 6-7 months of more challenge ahead of me. But I think I should look at it as 6-7 more months of recreating a better me. A woman who is comfortable in her own skin. Somebody who radiates strength and inner-peace. Somebody who has a closeness with her God and herself. Somebody who can also--finaly--put herself first and use the word "no".

Sunday, May 8, 2011

I Raced For The Cure!

Yesterday was the day. In my opinion yesterday was Mother's Day. Yesterday I ran in the Salt Lake City's Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure. I couldn't have asked for a better event to show my mother my love and appreciation for her strenghth and bravery. Her fight was sucessful, but it was no walk through the garden. It was brutal. It was emotional to say the least. I can't even begin to imagine what my mom went through. It was all I could do to not hop on a plane with my three wild and crazy hellions just so I could be by her side and give her a hug her when she needed it the most. But I know that was impractical. She knows I love her and besides she has an amazing support group right where she is. My stepdad alone has been the strongest and most supportive in her team. I consider him to be an angel with red hair and a beard.
So let's get to the race. It went amazingly! The weather yesterday was warm and sunny with a slight breeze. It was perfect walk/run weather. My two other friends, Rachael, Laurie and I took off together from the light rail station in Sandy, Utah headed for downtown Salt Lake City. It was a great way to travel, and at each train stop the train loaded up with more and more people covered in pink and white. Most folks wore the assigned Race For The Cure tee-shirts, but many loaded onto the train that were dressed in pink tu-tus and bright pink wigs. Some had on shirts that said, "I'm just here for the boobies" and some wore shirts that were in memory of their mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, sister, or daughter. All were heart felt and all were very touching. I discovered when we arrived there in the very crowded downtown area that I could fill out and wear a sign that said 'In Celebration Of'. I filled out my piece of paper to say 'My Mommy'. "In Celebration Of My Mommy".
My friends and I walked around for a bit just people watching and looking at all the crazy get-ups that some of the other folks wore. Some ladies wore their bras on the outside of their shirts and some wore coconut bras. Many had on the pink tu-tu and I was secretly thinking I would like one of those myself. Ha ha ha!
Some men even wore the pink tu-tus and some folks brought their dogs in a pink tu-tu. It was the craziest and most fun event you could go to dressed like a pink wierdo. Some men had on the shirts that said, "I like boobies" or "I'm just here for the boobies" and I was thinking they could probably only wear these shirts here and not be considered perverts.
My two friends and I lined up at the starting line where we were elbow to elbow and lost in the massive crowd of pink. When they announced it was time to, "3...2...1...GO" we were bumping into everybody and stumbling over our own feet trying to get past the pink and white balloon archway that stood over the starting line.

Finally we were able to get going in a fast walk/light jog rhythm and pass by so many others that were dressed in crazy pink get-ups. One thing this race was for sure was a feast for the eyes! If you enjoy people-watching this is the race for you! We jogged past older women wearing solid pink shirts that said "survivor" on them, and women that looked like very serious runners that had been checking their pulses at the beginning of the race. We ran past women and men who pushed the new style jogger strollers that had pink decorated babies inside them. What I liked the most was the woman who appeared to be a very serious runner and  who looked like she was no stranger to running races. Beside her was her son. They were jogging together. He couldn't have been older than 6 or 7. She kept a slow pace to stay next to her son and they jogged together. They looked so sweet. Mother and child.

My two friends and I kept a fast pace walk, light jog. We jogged when we could, but walked most of the time because you could only go so fast without running over the folks in front you. At the half way point they passed out water, thankfully. That was just what we needed to keep going. We decided that at the last mile or so we would push it into a run no matter who we had to run around to do it. So we broke into a run, and kept going and weaving around groups and teams of people till we reached the second pink and white balloon archway that signaled the end of the 3.2 miles. We completed the race in 55 minuets. That's not so bad, I suppose considering we walked most of the way. I couldn't have been more proud to have been apart of such a great race.

When it was all over with, we sat next to a stream that flowed through the downtown Gateway Mall area and we peeled and ate the oranges they passed out at the finish line and discussed our options for where we would go for an early lunch before it was time to get back home. We decided to catch the train back to Sandy, Utah and eat a bite at the Sweet Tomato right across the street from the train station. The Sweet Tomato is a like a huge salad/pasta/soup bar. It was a great place to go and apparently a popular choice for others that had run the race. We met many others in the pink and white tee-shirts there.

I got to enjoy a great lunch with NO KIDS, and quality conversation with great friends. Did I mention it was with NO KIDS!!! Like I said earlier, in my opinion yesterday was Mother's Day. I got to do something for my mother and I enjoyed a meal with no whining and no fighting and nobody had to go potty that couldn't take themself. I get to say that I was part of a terrific race for a terrific cause and in celebration of a terrific woman. A woman who, in one month's time, will be here to visit me and my boys. I get see my mommy again! I have missed her. You know what? I really am the luckiest girl in the world. I have MUCH to be thankful for. God bless my mother. God bless all mothers. Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Things are getting better (slowly) I think? Maybe? Okay, sorta.

I have so much to say and such little time in which to say it. So I will make this short, but I will try to cover lightly on all topics.

One: David has been fighting at school and I have been going through this spectrum of emotions with him. I am proud of him for taking care of me when I don't feel good when the body aches are bothering me, but I am SO disappointed in him for fighting. He is one more fight away from being suspended from school for a time. I have PLEADED with the psychiatrist to get him on an anti-depressant medication and FINALLY she has prescribed one. He is now on his day number two of Zoloft. We all have our fingers crossed for him.

Two: Little Mark has been off the wall with either his ADHD or his Tourrets. It appears that I am just going to have to pick my poison with him. He either ticks away or he suffers from his attention deficiency. So since I have to take my pick, I'll choose ADHD to be controlled. His ticks? Well, I will just have to learn to live with them. I can't have my cake and eat it too, I guess. This will certainly come with it's own set of problems. Let me say that again, This WILL come with it's own set of problems, but what else can I do? I have no other choice.

Three: Gabe is fine. No more strep and healthy as a horse. He usually gives me very little problem, THANK YOU GOD! Thank you for one ADHD-free child!!!

Four: My body aches have been a pain in the arse for many months now, and there is nothing the doctors can do about it, except treat the symptoms. It appears that getting the injectable B-12 shot the moment I feel them coming on is like the best thing I have found for them. Just this last week I could feel them coming on so I went to the doctor's office where she gave me a B-12 shot, and it lessened the pain so noticeably and effectively that I was able to go on about the day with no problems. I could still feel the aches, but they were so light that I was able to function!  So, long story short, I asked the doctor for a prescription of the B-12 injectable and she is allowing it! I went just today and picked up my B-12 prescription and 25 gauge needles. So now every week when I feel the pain coming on I just need to give myself the shot instead of driving to the doctor's office with kids in tow. Yes that does sound a bit scary but hey! I will do what I have to do for relief. The pain can be that bad and the relief is that good. It also doesn't hurt that I have two good  nurse friends that live right here next to me. Ha ha! They can give me a shot.

Five: Tomorrow is the Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure!!!! I am SO EXCITED!!!! I have been running 5 days a week except on days when the aches are too much for me, to prepare for this day. I realize that I won't be coming in first place or anything like that, and I certainly don't plan to. What I DO plan to do is enjoy the moment with friends, and run in honor of my mother. My mother who can refer to herself as a survivor, a soldier, a rock. What would I do without her? What would I have done without her during this deployment? Her wisdom and her love has kept me going through this year that running a marathon in her honor seems like a pretty nice gesture. That and I really like the color pink. This is going to be such a momentous occasion, I can NOT forget to make some room on my camera's memory disk tonight. It would be pretty sad if I forgot my camera.

Okay so I better be going. I have to get ready for a counselor session for David. He has been attending one-on-one sessions with his counselor once a week. Oh, by the way I started going to a class that helps parents of children with ODD. I wonder how much I will be able to get from this class? So far we have discussed What Is ODD? I have done so much self-teaching and study on ODD I felt like maybe I could I stand up and teach What Is ODD? myself. It's the How Do I Deal With A Kid With ODD that I need help with.
Anyway, I hope that everybody is having a decent week and the rain isn't killing everybody's Spring Fever.
I will update you on how the race went. (going to be nice weather, thank God)
Wish me luck!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Hello there, it's been two weeks

I know, I know, Two weeks is a kind of a long while but I have had the greatest excuse ever in the world. I had my husband home for his R&R. I got to be wife again for two weeks! It was amazing. We didn't go anywhere or do anything in particular except be here at the house and be a family again. As a matter of fact he just left this morning on a plane to go back. Am I sad? Yes. Will we be okay? I guess we have to be, won't we? It sucks to have to put back on the brave mask again, but I'm used to wearing it by now. The mask seems to have worn a groove on my face. It fits.
I had absolutely NO IDEA that Mark was coming home. It was a total surprise! Okay so here is the story:
So there we were at McDonald's playland on a yucky, snowy Sunday afternoon. The boys were supposed to be playing but they were doing more complaining than anything. Arguing too. I had had enough. It was such a crappy day. Between the snow coming down hard outside and the boys fighting at McDonald's and I was just plain sick of being bored on a Sunday and missing my husband and tired of being so all alone, I had enough. I was a pretty bad mood, but then my phone rang. It was my husband's local/United States phone number that popped up on caller ID. My first thought was this had to be a mistake. Something must be wrong with the service. How can he be calling me. So I answered it purely out of curiosity. I was sure it wouldn't be him. There had to be a mistake, but after I said hello it was his voice that followed. "Hey there, baby!", he said. I was totally confused. "How is it that you are calling me from your local service phone?" I asked him. "Because I have local service in Dallas." was his reply. "WHAT???!!!" I yelled back at him. "what are you doing in Dallas? What's happened?" By now I had just about everybody in the McDonald's playland looking right at me and probably wondering if I was crazy. He said he was waiting for his connection flight to Utah and SURPRISE!! "I'm coming home for R&R" he said. I was hysterical. I was crying, I was running around with the phone stuck to my ear listening to him explain why he wanted to surprise me as I was gathering shoes and coats and boys. We had exactly 3 hours before Mark was going to be at the airport and I was a mess and so was the house. So the boys and I ran home, cleaned the house and changed out of church clothes and raced to the airport.
I'm not going to lie, it has been amazing having him here at home. I have been nervous and worried about him returning home. I have been afraid that he would suffer from some sort of PTSD, or isolate himself from the family like I have been hearing from the other wives here who have made it through a few more deployments than I have. Honestly I couldn't have asked for a better two weeks. The boys still had to go to school and we still had to follow a routine, and the soldier fell right into place as daddy and husband. The first few days he was tired, and I mean TIRED. That whole living on the other side of the world thing had his time off for a while. Slowly he adjusted. I also had to adjust a bit as well. I had to release some control and allow him to take over some duties. It's hard to let go of control--especially for me--the Control Freak.
But we fell right in step with each other and all my fears were put to rest.
Now when he comes home for good in just a few more months I will know what to expect more. Now the countdown for June has started and I can't hardly wait!
Oh, by the way, while the hubby was home, I have been preparing and training harder for the Susan G. Komen Race for The Cure that's coming up this next month. I have been running harder and perfecting my run time. The race is coming up on May 7th and I want to be ready! I received my race shirt and number the other day in the mail  and it's got me so excited! The race is starting to feel more real. I can't wait to get out there with hundreds of women and men wearing pink and all running for the same purpose. I can hardly wait for the day!
So these next few months will hopefully swing by with great speed and before long I will get to be a wife once again and my boys will get to have a Daddy-Monster. (that's what we call him for fun-just so you know)
The boys are about to start Spring Break tomorrow. Yippie-skippie. My spirit is renewed and I feel a strong sense of hope. I can do this. Bring it on.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

A time to be healthy and a time to feel like poop

I made such a mistake in my last blog. I asked the fatal question, "Can things get any worse"? And as we all know, that was a stupid question. I tempted the gods and I got my answer. Yes. Things can get worse.
Last Friday I got a call from the school. It was my middle son. He was feeling--as he put it--queasy. He had thrown up in class on himself. Lovely.
I tell you what! It all went down hill from there. The weekend was filled with all three kids being sick. There was fever, throwing up and lots and lots of coughing. By Sunday I had heard enough of the coughing to get all of us dressed in something more than t-shirts and undies and drove us to the Urgent Care unit down the street.
Turns out it wasn't pneumonia like I was afraid of, thank goodness. It was just a, "nasty virus" that caused my two oldest boys' asthma to be stimulated. Okay. That's not too bad, right? We have a nebulizer at home. We have coughing syrup and children's Advil too. This might be a nasty virus but we can kick this crap in no time.
That's what I thought anyway. The virus had other plans. They ALL missed school on Monday. By Tuesday my oldest had kicked his illness and got to return to school. Yay! But, My other two were still running high fevers and coughing. I started feeling crappy over the weekend, and by Tuesday I was feeling pretty yucky. As a matter of fact, I could feel my chest starting to feel tight and I was fighting a strong urge to cough my head off. By Wednesday, I had had enough. My two poor little boys were STILL running fevers and coughing and I was running a fever and coughing right along with them. Being mom isn't always easy, but being the mommy and being really sick still doesn't excuse you from all mommy duties. (sigh) So off we went to the urgent care unit again.
I checked us ALL in to be seen by the doctor. Don't get me wrong, we all were seen, but the boys got the help they needed. I did not. It was determined that my two boys have a viral bronchitis. Me? "oh you're just fine. Your lungs sound nice and clear". I guess it didn't matter that I told the doctor when I cough my lungs burn like fire. Oh, THAT'S not important! We were sent out the door with two prescriptions. One prescription per ill boy. Nothing for the mommy.
I was furious! I had to go home and let the boys lay down and take a rest. They were BURNING with fevers and needed to rest. Meanwhile, I called my regular MD and made an appointment for myself. By Golly! Somebody is going to pay attention to the fact that I am SICK! I made a decision that I will not walk out of the doctor's office without a prescription for an antibiotic. Period.
A few hours later, and dragging (literally) two ailing children with me to the doctor's office (again) I got what I needed.
My question is: why does it have to sound like a pool of water is flowing through my chest before the doctors believe that my lungs hurt when I cough? I stopped smoking years ago, once upon a time I used to get bronchitis every winter. The doctors informed me that I wouldn't get bronchitis so much if I would just quit. So over time, I did eventually quit, but I KNOW what bronchitis feels like. Just like I KNOW what it feels like to be pregnant. I have been down that road. I know how it feels. I know my body!
Okay, I'll stop ranting on the dumb asses we call doctors. I just think it's sad that I had to go THREE times to get the right diagnosis.
Speaking of which, I am in total anticipation of my alternative doctor appointment for next week. I get to have more blood drawn! Yippie! That may sound sarcastic and it is partially. I am not looking forward to opening another vein BUT I am looking forward to having some new tests ran. All in the name to find a diagnosis for these damned body aches.
Know what's funny? Well, not funny "ha-ha", but funny ironic? I have been suffering with the body aches all week long. Only this time it's come with a fever! So in a sense, I can finally say I am legitimately sick. I can rationalize my body aches this week with a valid disease. It's nice to be able to put my finger on a disease this week and say, "THIS IS WHAT'S WRONG! (this week)".
Well today my oldest went to school like he has done since last Tuesday. My other two have woken up this morning with absolutely NO FEVERS whatsoever! Cool as cucumbers, they are! I could do the happy dance if I felt like getting up. I still feel like there is a fire in my lungs when I cough, and of course my body aches. But really, deep down inside I am doing the football shuffle. I couldn't be more happy! I think these boys might get to make an appearance at school tomorrow! Yippie-freaking-skippie!! Cause man do I need a break from kids for a moment. I have been stuck in Kiddie-Land since last Friday. Man do I miss grown ups. I mean grown ups that aren't doctors.
So here is to Friday (tomorrow) THANK GOD FOR FRIDAY, YO!
Really, I am doing an inner Macarena right now.
TGIF everybody!!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

New doctor, new diagnosis :o)

I have some exciting news I believe. Out of frustration from my body aches that come and go, I went to see a different kind of doctor today. She leans more to the alternative side of medicine. Her practice was advised to me by a good friend of mine whose mother has experienced these mystery body aches as well. What a day to have to go see a new doctor though. I have been up since 4 am. I don't know about some of you but I'm a real grump at four in the morning. I also will not usually get to go back to sleep if I wake up so early. I didn't wake up voluntarily! My sweet little eight year old who suffers from insomnia almost as bad as I do was the culprit. He woke up and woke me up and neither of us could  go back to sleep. Between the two of us and our grumpy attitudes, we were a real pair this morning.
Anyway, because I had one over-tired kid and one that isn't in school yet, I had to take two of my three kids with me to this appointment. Needless to say I was in a mood and considered calling this whole appointment off and rescheduling for a different day. Glad I didn't.

I discovered a few interesting things.  When regular people have their blood tested for anything--anything at all--having "okay" results means just that. They are "Okay". Let's say I go in and have my cholesterol tested, and let's just say for the sake of this example 40 is good and 80 is bad. If my results come back as 79, then I am considered to have good, normal or okay results. No treatment would be prescribed. At THIS particular clinic a 79 is not considered good, normal or okay. They would consider this 79 as borderline bad and it would be treated. My new physician told me today that they strive for their patients to have optimal care. So she has ordered my previous blood test results from other doctors offices, and she also wants to see my MRI results that was done on my back from 6 months ago. I have chronic back pain from bulging disks and scoliosis that--six months ago--was debilitating. The doctor I was referred to at the time for chronic pain relief is kind of a jerk. He didn't bother to treat my pain with any physical therapy. He just handed me a prescription that causes so many other problems that I have to take a handful of other pills just to treat the side effects. Nice, huh?

As for these body aches, she has a theory that threw me for a loop. She thinks it may be that my body produces too much yeast. Yes, I said yeast.
I'm sure I had a very confused look on my face when she told me this. So she asked me, "do you crave sugar?" Oh my gosh YES! I don't just want it sometimes, I CRAVE it. I binge on it if I think I can get away with it.
She asked me if I have chronic dry skin. Why yes I do! I've had doctors tell me it's eczema. Another doctor has told me it's allergies. My new physician thinks it's a symptom of my body producing too much yeast. Another physical symptom from this yeast thing is body aches. These cursed body aches may not be from Mono at all. So she wants to see all my blood test results from my other doctors. When she has them all she will know what she wants to further test my blood for. She wants to run a hormonal test. She wants to see if there is something she can do about my insomnia too while she's at it.. Perhaps my body isn't making enough happy hormones as she called them. Serotonin. After women have babies, our bodies go through all sorts of hormonal changes. She thinks mine might be out of whack. Sheesh! I can tell they are and I don't need no stinking blood tests for that!
I am delighted that I have finally found a doctor that will test me for things that are beyond what other doctors have tried before in the past. I am just not too happy with my newest diagnosis: It Might Be Mono. I have, in the past, asked for specific blood tests and doctors have refused. I asked my doctors to test my hormone levels before. I never got the reason why they didn't want to. I just know they didn't. There has to be a test out there somewhere that can give us a clue as to what is wrong with my body. I am 34 years old and I take medications like I'm 90. I take an insane amount of medications everyday and not only are these medications expensive, but they are time consuming. I have to keep up with my pills with a pill planner. I take AM pills, PM pills, and BEDTIME pills. It's insane. Taking this many medications a day makes me feel like an old lady.
 Between my pills, and my eight year old's pills and my seven year old's pills, we have consumed an entire cabinet in the kitchen just to hold all our bottles. Every week I spend up to half an hour planning out all our pills for the next week. And don't forget that I'm driving back and forth to the pharmacy to drop off prescriptions and pick them up every week too. It's VERY time consuming! I say, if I can get to the source of all my real medical issues and treat them properly instead of throwing pills at my symptoms, then I say let's do it!

I pray that this will help me in the long run and this new doctor can help me. I need something in my life to be simpler because seriously, can it get any harder?
 Don't answer that!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Taking myself off the back burner now...

I have to admit. I haven't been taking as good care of myself as I had once originally hoped for at the beginning of the year. My efforts have slipped. Especially this month. I have been stressed out to the max these past couple of weeks. My oldest son has been driving me through Crazy Town on a regular basis. You know, Crazy Town? Where he is the mayor? It's not a pretty place to visit. And let's not forget to add an honorable mention here. My middle son was needing a medication change and those are always fun. Switching up medications over a weekend is like as much fun as pulling out your own teeth.

Oh! I can't forget that a very important occasion needed to be observed. My four year old boy had a birthday! He is now my FIVE year old boy. That was a party that--alike his brothers' birthday parties during this deployment--was thrown together at the last minute. I baked a quick cake and invited a small group of friends to McDonald's to share in the once in a life time event. I bought him a birthday gift. Wrapping it wasn't skipped on purpose, I honestly ran out of time and couldn't find the wrapping paper. Nevertheless, he turned another year older and had a great time blowing out his candles.

Also, I have just recently had a seriously scary financial crisis.  I don't plan to explain this one at this time but please know it has been...uh...resolved? Pretty much. So again let me repeat: The situation has been taken care of. We are going to be fine. At the time that this crap happened though, I was really freaked out. Anxiety and stress and the whole nine yards. THANK GOD it's over with. Well sorta, but thank God I kept it together. I just had to remember where I kept the shovel so I could start digging us out when the poop started to fall. Jeeze, if anything could go wrong during this deployment, it has. Talk about a learning experience. I feel as if I have aged beyond my actual years. I will be so happy when this is all over with.

Oh yeah, and about this same time I also had a tooth ache. Not just any toothache. I'm talking a tooth ACHE! It was of incredible magnitude. It came at the most perfect moment, wouldn't you say? Here I am up to my eyeballs in financial poop and new meds and stubborn kids when all of a sudden, BAM! The left side of my face was stricken with such a pain that I fantasized breaking out my lower jaw just to find relief. I had to swing over to my local dentist...((shudder)) to get some pain killers and antibiotics. The pain is no longer there but it still twinges a bit when I chew on the left side. I am just going to have to bite the bullet (so to speak) and go to the dentist to have this taken care of properly. It's going to involve drills and the reclining chair of doom so I'm not in too much a hurry to get it done. I hate dentists.
Let's not forget that somewhere in all this I had to make breakfasts, and dinners and wash loads of laundry and get the dishes done. Life doesn't stop even though sometimes you would give anything to have the remote control in your hands. Just one more hour of sleep would be outstanding sometimes, you know?

Needless to say, it's been a crazy month and like I have said before, I haven't been taking care of myself like I had once intended to do. I have been distracted. I haven't been meditating too much and I need to, and I know it. I haven't been keeping up with my yoga so much and I need to, and I know it. I have been getting a workout in the mornings to ready myself for the Susan G. Komen Race For The Cure coming up in May but it hasn't stopped the four pounds I have put on. Those lovely little pounds have stress-eating written all over them.
It's time to get myself back on track. Time to meditate more. I have been including a prayer everyday because that's what I have decided to do for this season of Lent, but it's time to get back to doing what's good for my spirit and my soul and sooth my anxiety and stress.
I sat for 15 minuets today and meditated. Yes, that's all I did. But hey something is better than nothing, right? I plan to hit the hay early tonight because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and neither did my oldest son who also suffers from insomnia. So guess who is a grouchy brat today? Me! That's who. My oldest boy is quite the grumbling old meanie too. We could all use a good night's sleep. I think meditating again before I lay my head down tonight may help my restless brain.
Periodically making time for one's sanity and serenity, even if it's something as simple as quiet meditation, is still productivity. This month so far has been full of busyness and stress. This is Jayme making a vow to slow down now for her own good.
It may not be a bad idea if somebody could check in on me though just to be sure I'm following through for myself. I have a tendency to put myself off.
Here is to a better 12 more days of March. Good luck to us all.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sorry for the long silence there

Hey there. I know it's been a while but I have a good reason for my absence. A very good reason! I've been busy.
I finally got an official diagnosis for my body aches and I am proud to say that it's not Fibro Myalgia or something long term. It's mono. It's just stupid mono. The kissing disease. No, I haven't been kissing anybody unless you can count the smooches I give the boys when I tuck them in at night.
Yes, mono is contagious. No, the doctor doesn't think I need to have the boys tested unless they begin to show symptoms, and oddly enough they seem okay.
The only thing that has really been bothering me the last few days is a toothache. My gosh, I just can't catch a break from all these aches and pains. Toothaches and tooth pain in general is very under rated. You never really grasp the whole toothache concept until it's your tooth that is aching, and then suddenly you are reminded of just how excruciating and evil toothaches are. It's Satan having a ball in you mouth and he brought all Hell with him.
Turns out, my toothache is coming from an abscessed tooth. I had a root canal done years ago and had a crown put in place. Well, according to the dentist who saw me last Friday (and the dentist who performed said root canal), I will need to see a specialist because the canal that was done was not done done deep enough, and now--years later-- I have an infection. Oh goody. More dental work.
Something you should know about me. I'm a total sissy when it comes to the dentist. I kid you not! I have been known to cry and shake involuntarily just to get a cleaning. I have serious dentist-phobia. I'm scared to death of having to do anything dental. My dislike for the dentist is up there with my repulsion for laundry and cock roaches. I very seriously dislike the dentist and that reclining chair of fear, but I cannot live with this mouth pain any longer. I have been taking unbelievable amounts of Lortab to find relief, and I don't like the side effects of Lortab, but really, it's time to pick my poison, know what I mean?
So tomorrow I will giving this "specialist" a call. I need to get this taken care of and soon.  I'm almost out of pain killers and the antibiotics I am taking are like...HUGE! I can't believe they make pills this big! It looks like a toy pill. You know, like it was made too big on purpose because its a toy or something? But this pill is real. I swear, I'm gonna go measure this thing. I bet it's like a whole square inch or something. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, the benefit of being on these pain killers is that I haven't felt the body aches in a while. Eight days to be exact. Ha ha ha!! Take THAT you stupid body aches! (I don't know why I said that.)

The boys are doing well pretty much. I was recently instructed to have my middle son discontinue taking his stimulant ADHD medication for two days because his Tourretts was creeping back in. When the doctor told me to stop giving him the medication (Concerta) I was like, huh? What about school? I guess he won't be going to school then? And nope, he didn't. He can't go to school UNmedicated. He won't sit in his chair. He will roll on the floor. He won't pay attention to the teacher. He will hum nonstop and completely tune her out. He will be a huge distraction for his poor teacher and all his classmates. It's a good thing I have good communication with his teacher. I was able to explain all this to her without having to explain it too much. It's a good thing she is an understanding woman, because to have my kid stay at home for two days when technically he's not "sick" is for some teachers unacceptable.
He has started on a new medication called Focalin. I still need to Google this medication and do my reading about it, but it's another stimulant drug that is made for ADHD. So he is taking the very lowest dose of the stimulant medication as well as a non-stimulant medication called Strattera. All this because he has ADHD AND Tourrets, and if you have ADHD AND Tourrets it's hard to find a medication that fits "just right". You see, the stimulant medication will controle the ADHD, but it will make the Tourrets symptoms exaggerated. Almost worse. So my son has to take the very lowest dose of stimulant medication out there, and unfortunatly it usually isn't enough to control his ADHD symptoms. That's why the non-stimulant is added. Of course you may be wondering why can't he just take the non-stimulant only? Well, it's not enough to control the symptoms either. Of course not. That would be too easy. That would make this whole ADHD medication thing a breeze, and we can't have that now can we???
So I have been able to witness my boy unmedicated for the past couple of days and Whew! I had forgotten about a few things he does when unmedicated. For example, he chews on his shirts. No joke, he will eat a hole through his shirt like a little mouse. And he bounces All. The. Time. Did I mention he bounces all the time? Well, he bounces all. the. time. It's like he has springs on the bottom of his feet. Have you ever seen the movie Flubber? The boys on the basketball team are just bouncing all over the court high and fast. That's my son. Just boing, boing, boing everywhere. He simply cannot hold still. And the impulsitivity. Wowsers!! He doesn't think about anything first, he just does it. That's all there is to it.
On the plus side though, he ate. He ate and ate and ate! He ate so much that first day I was shocked his stomach didn't explode. Maybe I should include medication holidays more often? That being said, I think I can only handle a medication holiday if it's done one kid at a time. To have all kids unmedicated at the same time is like shooting myself in the foot. Stupid and painful. So maybe I will start having them take it in turns? Hmm...we'll see.

Anyway, I need to get off here and head to bed, but one last thing before I go. I am happy to announce that I am officially registered for the Susan G. Komen, Race For The Cure 3K coming up in May. I will be running for my mother. I have felt so helpless in knowing that my mother is going through chemotherapy for breast cancer and here I am so many states away and unable to even give her a hug. I love you, mom!! You are so brave and so strong! I rest easy at night because I know my mother has an angel watching over her night and day. My step dad is quite possibly the most amazing man. He guards over her and takes care of her and I thank God she has him in her life. She has an amazing team of support all around her actually. She is going to make it through this, I have faith.
You never know how strong you are till it's the only choice you have. I love you, mom!