This week has been crazy busy. I'm talking, 'no sitting down except when I'm driving' kind of busy. I have been playing catch up. Don't get me wrong, I have attended a few events that made me happy. I spent a morning at a friend's house for coffee. But I took a load of clean clothes with me so I could fold them while we had a chat, AND I took my lap-top too. You know, so when I was between sips of coffee and done folding clothes, I could pay bills on-line. This is sad. I realize this, okay? I'm not very good at relaxing. It's going to take a LOT longer for me to learn how to do something as complicated as relaxing. I believe there is a skill I have missed out on learning when it comes to the art of relaxing. That lesson on how to relax was taught on a day that I called in sick or something. I never learned the skill of relaxing.
Every morning, I can't even help it. As soon as I slip out of bed to do my Yoga stretches and meditate, my brain kicks it into first gear. Then second gear. By the time I am done and down stairs making breakfast I am in full swing, engine roaring, pistons pumping, and my little hampster is running like a maniac in his little wheel. In fact meditation has been very hard to control. I just can do that whole, "clear your mind" part. Even as I write this, I am scoffing at the idea. Clear my mind? WHATEVER! Ahhh....the joys of ADHD. I am the crazy, queen of muti-task. I am the clown of meditation.
Don't think that means that I am giving up. No sir! Not me! Did I also mention that I am the queen of stubborn? When I decide to go on a cause--lost one or not--I do it all the way!
I realize that I need to go to bed right now. It's late. I need to go upstairs and get into my bed right now and start my meditation for dummies play-away thingy and perform my winding-down portion of the day. Especially since I promised myself that I would go to bed over an hour ago, but I keep finding other things that need to get done. I keep thinking, "if I do this one extra thing before bed then that's one less thing I will have to do tomorrow. Then tomorrow won't be so busy and I might get a chance to relax".
See my insanity here, don't you?
I'm such a 'tard. That's it. I am going to bed right now. I need to get off this computer and stop blogging, even though I promised myself I would do this like yesterday. Okay. I am taking my tea and going to bed. Well first I am going to re-heat the tea that I made for myself to help me relax like over an hour ago, THEN I am going to bed.
Really.
Right now.
About Me
- Jayme
- I am an army wife with three kids. I live too many miles from any family members but I have a support group of friends here in this high desert that I am thankful and greatful for every single day. I am in a soul search for myself. I have always been a "yes" person. A person who can never say "no". Because of this I have lost Me along the way, and I am tired of being lost. It's time for Jayme to find herself and be happy. The past 6 months have been hard for me. I mean REALLY challenging because like I said, I am an Army wife with three kids and sometimes I have to do things like, you know, on my own. I have another 6-7 months of more challenge ahead of me. But I think I should look at it as 6-7 more months of recreating a better me. A woman who is comfortable in her own skin. Somebody who radiates strength and inner-peace. Somebody who has a closeness with her God and herself. Somebody who can also--finaly--put herself first and use the word "no".
I hope it was Sleepytime Tea, Jayme, the one with EXTRA written on the box, which means it's double strength. Sadly, I'm afraid you get this crazy think you have to do it all gene quite naturally. I'm not sure it really gets us anywhere. Hamsters run and run and run, but they are just spinning [inside] their wheel. Keep up the early-morning meditation, and be serious about it. I think you will find you're whole day goes better. I have a little voice inside my head lately that says, just slow down; one job at a time, everything will get done whenever... It it doesn't, so what? Do the important stuff first, and do the rest later, tomorrow even. Rest or you will end up stressing yourself into some sort of sickness. How's that going to help your children or get your bills paid?
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