This ain't no frigging walk through the garden here!

Here I am just sitting on the couch and watching the kitty cats playing and running all over the house. The occasional hissing sound or playful growl is the only thing I can hear at the moment, and this is a good thing. WHAT a crappy day it has been. Honestly. It sucked eggs.

I have been going back and forth with my oldest boy today. We never seem to see eye to eye on anything. If God gives challenges, then this child is my challenge. It's not my middle son with ADHD and Tourrette's, oh no! It's my oldest son with ADHD and ODD. That's short for Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It's like raising a two year old ALL THE TIME. You know, like he hit the terrible twos and just never grew out of it. Seriously though, ODD is a mental condition. It usually comes hand in hand with ADHD. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry:

The following are behaviors are associated with ODD:

• Negativity
• Defiance
• Disobedience
• Hostility directed toward authority figures

These behaviors might cause your child to regularly and consistently show these signs and symptoms:

• Temper tantrums (yes)
• Argumentativeness with adults (yep)
• Refusal to comply with adult requests or rules (yeppers)
• Deliberate annoyance of other people (check mark)
• Blaming others for mistakes or misbehavior (double check mark)
• Acting touchy and easily annoyed (oh my gosh, like all the time)
• Anger and resentment (so bad I walk on egg shells)
• Spiteful or vindictive behavior (oh yeah, that's for sure)
• Aggressiveness toward peers (and towards brothers)
• Difficulty maintaining friendships (unfortunately)
• Academic problems (if this includes fighting with his teacher than yes.)

Related mental health issuesOppositional defiant disorder often occurs along with other behavioral or mental health problems such as:

• Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
• Anxiety
• Depression

Treatment of ODD involves therapy, special types of training to help build positive family interactions, and possibly medications to treat related mental health conditions.
We are doing all of it.

Well, let me tell you! It's been no walk through the frigging park raising this child! Just taking care of my son during one of his fits can seriously take hoooouuuurrrsss. It's like I can't pay attention to anything else because it takes all the strength I can muster just to control my own temper. I have to try to remember all my training that I have been getting from our family counselor because I MUST be a good example of how to maintain self-control when all I really want to do is fling the front door open and kick his grumpy little hiny out!

Here lately he has been stealing /hiding /eating candy and lying about it. It's like he is OBSESSED with candy! I give candy to the boys as a reward for earning so many "good-behaviour" stickers on our little sticker chart thingy. We follow this sticker chart ever faithfully, and I like how the boys are able to see how many stickers they earn in a day. We have followed this sticker chart thing for months now. Well my oldest found the candy stash one night and just let all sense and self control go right out the door. He ate almost the entire bag of candy treats! All but three pieces. I discovered the wrappers all over his room this morning and I was furious. What made me even more angry was when I confronted him about his little midnight raid, he tried to deny it.

Riiiiight.

Like 10+ pieces of candy decided to shed their wrappers and hit the road, but before they left they hid their wrapper mess UNDER my son's pillow and bed. Ya, that could happen?

This isn't the first time this has happened. Nope, huh-uh. Not even the second time. Or even the third time for that matter. This kid has absolutely no controll. He is completely impulsive. I have tried and tried and tried to get this boy to take some responsibility over his actions. I've tried to get him to understand why high levels of sugar and food coloring are bad for a kid with his condition. He just doesn't get it. I've even tried to help him practice self control and impulsive behaviours and reward his success, but nothing seems to work on this kid. If he finds candy, he will eat it.

Maybe you're not understanding what a big deal this is. You're probably thinking, "Dang! Just give the kid a piece of candy or something. No big deal." Well let me give you an example of what I am dealing with:
 My son will eat any kind of candy off the ground, trash can, or even moldy, slimy, moss covered nastiness. Even if it was half eaten by somebody else. He will chew gum that he finds from under restaurant tables and from off the sidewalks. He will try and swindle anybody he can into giving him another piece if they offer him one, then he will steal another piece when they aren't looking. What has bothered me the most of all is when he will steal money from my wallet to purchase it. 

What am I supposed to do with this kid? The lies are stacking up. He has ruined my trust for him completely. I don't just think he's lying to me anymore, I KNOW he is. I can tell because his lips are moving. He lies to me for just about anything, really. Not just candy. It kills me because in the past I have discovered something bad that one of my kids has done and NOBODY will confess to it. Typical stuff. That's the way kids are, right? I usually already know who did it, but I tell the boys, "Okay since nobody will confess to the crime then you all will be punished until somebody tells me the truth."
Get this, my youngest, my four year old, in the past, has confessed to the crimes but he wasn't the culprit. Turns out, the kid "whodunnit" was my oldest but he was allowing my four year old to fall on the bomb. To take one for the team! I was so shocked one day when my oldest finally came clean about what had been going on. I was glad that he told me, but so ashamed at him. I told him too. "Thank you for FINALLY telling the truth but shame on you." I wonder how many times I've disciplined my four year when he was really innocent? Then again, what is that kid thinking taking the blame? Yes, I've talked to him about it, but how much of what I said does he understand? I mean, he's four.

So today has been one of those days from hell. All day long it has been a struggle with my oldest son's temper because he is being disciplined for his dishonesty and he doesn't like it! He hates being grounded because now he's BORED! Now he doesn't have anything to do and he's ill-tempered. It's so completely inconceivable to him that the sun doesn't rise and set in his honour. He doesn't get that the sun and moon and stars don't actually orbit around his royal little ass. He doesn't understand that I, his mother, don't have to entertain him while he is being grounded from the other things that were created for his entertainment. To be perfectly honest, I don't understand why he thinks he is so entitled. My other two boys don't behave this way at all.

The quiet here in the house has been something that I have looked forward to all day. Finally some peace and quiet for mommy. Finally my oldest is asleep. I bet he's up there right now dreaming up new ways to get around his grounding. Little brat.