Unnecessary Roughness

Okay, it's getting rough. Here we are in the second month of the new year and I have to blow the whistle. It's time to throw in a flag. Personal foul. Unnecessary roughness.
 Everything is piling up on top of it's self. The teachers are reporting more problems with my kids in school. Their medications aren't doing their job. I know there is no quick and easy fix for their conditions but when my 7 year old's Tourret's is rearing it's ugly head and my 8 year old's ODD is getting out of control, and the teachers are complaining, it's becoming serious.Our van situation is on hold due to finances. My search for an attorney is on hold due to finances. My body aches are back and I can't figure out why, and neither can the doctors. So what the hell am I supposed to do?

I had a meeting with my 7 year old's teacher yesterday. She told me that my 7 year old boy who is usually so sweet natured and calm--distracted but calm--has been yelling at his classmates. He has been rolling on the floor and not paying attention during circle time. He has been unwilling or unable to make the transitions from one subject to the other. So when it comes time to complete the worksheets they are working on and move on to the next subject, he has a fit. He hasn't been completing his work in class and so his teacher has been sending him home all the incomplete worksheets as homework. On Tuesday she sent him home with seven incomplete worksheets. SEVEN!!!! Hello? At what point did she plan to tell me there are problems with his performance at school?? I had to contact her about all the work she was sending home. He can't concentrate on seven worksheets in one night. I have two other boys to look after. I have to make dinner in there somewhere. Apparently this has been going on since we returned from Christmas vacation. Great. Terrific. I love how I am just now being notified.
My 8 year old has been a disruption in class as well. Okay this is nothing new. He's always a disruption in class but it's usually in different degrees. Bearable/ unbearable/ criminal.
Right now he is working on a level between unbearable and criminal. Same thing here at home. He is working on my last nerve. He is lingering somewhere between intolerable evil and whiny spoiled brat. I am usually on the verge of throwing him out. I have been trying to kill the anger in him with rewards for his good behavior and hugs and love even when I am forced to discipline. But he always seems to remain bouncing around on that one last nerve. Almost like he has is tied it around his waist and bungy-jumping off the Empire State building with it, just to see how far he can make it stretch before it snaps.

((Sigh))

To top it all off, because too much crap is never enough in my world, the body aches have returned. Hello body aches! There you are. I was wondering when you were going to make a reappearance. Not that I was missing the body aches, really. Actually I was hoping that the body aches would have seen me getting blood tests and trying to stay hydrated and trying to figure out what is causing them and it would take note of all my efforts and they would've been scared away, but alas they are as stubborn as I am. So here I am stuck on the couch....again. I've taken my Advil for the body aches but it isn't working....again. I have too busy a life to be stuck on the couch with these dumb body aches...again. And so again I am forced to question my anxiety and stress levels. Am I getting enough sleep at night? Do I need to even bother going back to the doctor's office for even more tests? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???

For the rest of the time I am here at home on this couch, I plan to rest and possibly nap. I went to bed early last night because I didn't feel good. I didn't even meditate. I didn't read my book either. I just layed down on my bed and crashed into my pillow and slept for hours and hours. I slept for a total of 9 hours. I can hardly believe it! It may have something to do with the fact that I took one extra dose of my Ambien just to be sure I slept, but no matter. It worked and I slept. No matter how much sleep I got last night though, I still woke up this morning feeling like a thousand pound boulder.

I need to rest. My body hurts. I need to get back to feeling better. After-school and homework time will be here before I know it. The boys and their boundless energy and their need to fight and argue with me and each other will be in full blossom. My eight year old will be defiant as ever and I need to be more on my game, because Moms are never allowed to be sick or tired....or human.

Right now I can definitely say that I am GREATFUL for one normal and well behaved four year old. He is seeming to be alright with the fact that I want to sit on the couch and be lazy. Thank you God for at least one forgiving child. Thank you so much!!!!